"Sleeper" by Woody Allen

1. "Artifacts", scene #4

Man (M): Now we have certain artifacts here, which we date from 1950 to 2000. We'd like any information you can give us on. For instance,

Miles (Mi): (taking a photo) This was Joseph Stalin. He was a communist. I'm not too crazy about him. Had a bad mustache, a lot of bad habits.

(Next photo) This is Bella de Gosi (?), you can see what it did to him there.

(Next photo) This is Charles De Gaulle. He was a very famous French chef. (A pun: chef vs. chief) Had his own television show. He showed you how to make soufflés and omelets, and everything.

(Next photo) This is Scot Fitzgerald. Very romantic writer. Big with English majors, college girls, you know. Nymphomaniacs. Very, well...

nymphomania [nìmfə máynee ə]
n
  womans obsessive sexual desire: a womans compulsive desire to have sex with many different men, theorized to occur in some women (often considered offensive)

(Next photo) This is Chiang Kai-Shek. I was not too crazy about him either.

(Next photo) This is Billy Graham. Very big in the religion business. You know, he knew god personally. Got him his complete wardrobe, used to go on double dates together. This was very big thing, romantically made for a while...

(Next photo) This is some girls burning a brazier. You notice it is a very small fire.

(This is in reference to riots in the USA during the Vietnam war era, like we have seen recently in France, in October - November 2005).

(Next photo) This I don't know what that is.

(Next photo) It's a photo of Norman Mailer. He was a very great writer. Donated his ego to the Harvard Medical School.

(Next photo) This is a centerfold from a magazine used to called "Playboy". These girls didn't exist in actual life. There were rubberrized, you could blow them up, then fasten it. You could spread ointment on, or anything else (you might want). I'll just take this, study it later, and give you full report on.

M: Would you tell me exactly what this is?

Mi: This is chattering teeth. This you would buy in a store, take it to a party, if you want to get big laughs, put it down on a coffee table, or something, you know, set it all up, ... see how funny it is? The feet chatter, they're plastic...

(How do you understand this episode? Do we have similar "chattering teeth" in our society?)

(Nixon speaking)

M: Some of us have a theory that he might have once been a President of the United States, but he did something horrendous, so that all records, everything about him was wiped out about him. There is nothing in history books, there are no pictures on stamps or money.

Mi: Yeah, he actually was the President of the United States, but when he used to leave the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware.

(Sports commentator speaking about Muhammed Ali)

M: First, we didn't know exactly what this was, but we developed a theory. We feel that when citizens in your society, guilty of a crime against the state, they were forced to watch this.

Mi: Yes, that's exactly what that was.

 

Role-play the situation.

 

2. Life philosophy, scene #14

Woman (W): What is it?

Man (M): It's a 200-year-old Volkswagen. They really built these things. Reg... "Register commies, not guns."

W: What's that mean?

M: What?

W: "Register commies, not guns."

M: He was probably in the National Rifle Association. There was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service

W: Let me see that.

M: It's a "New York Times" - be careful - from 1990. "Pope's wife gives birth to twins." Wow.

W: We don't have cities like New York now.

M: No cities at all?

W: No. But I went to the university at a population centre.

M: You went to a university? It's hard to believe. For what?

W: Cosmetic sexual technique and poetry.

M: They teach you sex in school?

W: Yes, in case something|goes wrong with the machine.

M: What do you do? Switch to manual?

W: Where did you learn about sex?

M: From my mother. When I was little, I asked her "Where do babies come from?" She thought I said rabies. She said "From a dog bite." A lady on the block gave birth to triplets. I thought she was bitten by a Great Dane.

M (continues): That's perfect. We'll dump it in the water. They'll never find it.

W: What's it feel like to be dead for 200 years?

M: It's like spending a weekend in Beverly Hills. Hey, don't bother to help. It's a light car.

W: Were you scared? Do you believe in God?

M: Do I believe in God? I'm what you would call a teleological existential atheist. I believe there's an intelligence to the universe, except for parts of New Jersey.

W: Why is it I never understand what you're saying?

M: Why? Do you believe in God?

W: Well, I believe that there's somebody out there who watches over us.

M: Unfortunately, it's the government.

W: Miles. Miles, did you ever realise that "god" spelt backwards is "dog"?

M: Yeah. So?

W: It makes you think.

M: Yeah. Do you wanna push the car, please?

W: Push the car, will you?

M: Ready?

W: Yeah.

M: All right, let's go!

W: Nice work.

M: Just my luck. It landed on a turtle.

 

You find yourself in the far future. Explain your society and your philosophical creed

 

3. "Intimacy in the future", scene #15

Man (M): I couldn't make enough money playing jazz, so I had to open up the health-food place.

Woman (W): Weren't you any good?

M: Yeah, I was all right but I always felt that to really play jazz, you had to be black. I'm just a mulatto.

W: You?

M: Yeah. You knew that about me, didn't you?

W: No.

M: Yeah, I am.

W: You're joking.

M: I wouldn't kid about that. My father was black and my mother was white and vice versa.

W: Come on, Miles. You "are" joking.

M: I'm always joking. You know that. It's a defence mechanism.

W: Do you wanna perform sex with me?

M: Perform sex? I'm not up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you if you like.

W: OK. I just thought you might want to. There have a machine here.

M: Machine? I'm not getting into that thing. I'm strictly a hand operator. I don't like anything with moving parts that are not my own.

W: It's hard to believe that you haven't had sex for 200 years.

M: 204, if you count my marriage.

W: What did your wife do?

M: She was a hit man for the Mafia.

W: Was... Was she beautiful?

M: Yeah, she was great. Blonde hair, great upturned nose. It was really dynamite. Two blue eyes...one on either side, of course. I liked the arrangement. That's why I married her.

W: See, you are. You're teasing me again.

M: No.

W: Yes. You think I'm stupid.

M: No. How can you say that? I think that you're bright and...and sensitive and...

W: Beautiful. Yeah. Well, then, how come you're not attracted to me? You know, I mean, men go crazy over me. I'm great physically. I got a PhD in oral sex.

M: They make you take Spanish with that?

W: What?

M: I don't know. I was an English major. Chaucer. Pope. I minored in foreplay. It's a two-credit course at NYU...

W: Miles. You're not taking me seriously.

M: What do you want me to say if you say "Do you wanna perform sex with me?" It's so cold. I need to be warmed up and sent flowers, romanced.

W: Sex is different today. You see? We don't have any problems. Everybody's frigid.

M: That's incredible. Are the men impotent?

W: Yeah. Most of 'em, except for the ones whose ancestors are Italian.

M: Right. I knew there was something in that pasta.

W: You wanna get in the machine now?

M: No. We don't need that. Really, I...

W: I think it would be great if we did. I wouldn't be frigid...

M: You wouldn't be frigid with me. Nobody ever is. I got the magic fingers. You know, I swear. I've cured more women of frigidity. It's my specialty. Two minutes in bed with me and you'll sell that thing for scrap iron. I got a lot of fast moves. Really. The only thing is, I have asthma, so if you hear some wheezing, it's me. But give me a decent burial and...

 

Song:

In The Deathcar by Iggy Pop


A howling wind is whistling in the night
My dog is growling in the dark
Something's pulling me outside
To ride around in circles
I know that you have got the time
Coz anything I want, you do
You'll take a ride through the strangers
Who don't understand how to feel
In the deathcar, we're alive
In the deathcar, we're alive

I'll let some air come in the window
Kind of wakes me up a little
I don't turn on the radio
Coz they play shit, like....You know
When your hand was down on my dick
It felt quite amazing
And now that, that is all over
All we've got is the silence
In the deathcar, we're alive
In the deathcar, we're alive
So come on mandolins, play

When I touched you
I felt that you still had your baby fat
And a little taste of baby's breath
Makes me forget about death
At your age you're still joking
It ain't time yet for the choking
So now we can see the movie and see each other truly
In the deathcar, we're alive
In the deathcar, we're alive
I want to hear some mandolins
 

 4. "What do you believe in?" Scene #23

M: I can't believe it. We actually did it. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a nose for a nose. Whatever it means, it sounds brilliant.

W: You were absolutely wonderful. Just think. Erno's plan worked.

M: What do you mean, Erno's plan? What was I through all of that?

W: - What do you mean? It was Erno's plan.

M: - Look, I cannot discuss Erno with you. I'm getting a hostility ache, and a migraine headache now. I haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian and if I'd been going all this time, I'd almost be cured by now.

W: Miles. Erno's going to lead the revolution and head the new government.

M: Don't you understand? In six months, we'll be stealing Erno's nose. Political solutions don't work. It doesn't matter who's up there. They're all terrible... What are you looking at me like that for?

W: - I think you really love me.

M: Of course I love you. This is what this is all about. And you love me. I know that. And I don't blame you, honey. And I'm not knocking Erno. He's great if you happen to like a tall, blond, Prussian, Nordic, Aryan, Nazi type.

W: But, Miles, meaningful relationships between men and women don't last. That was proven by science. You see, there's a chemical in our bodies that makes us get on each other's nerves sooner or later.

M: That's science. I don't believe in science. Science is an intellectual dead end. It's a lot of guys in tweed suits, cutting up frogs on foundation grants and...

W: I see. You don't believe in science. And you also don't believe that political systems work and you don't believe in God, huh?

M: - Right.

W: - So, then... what do you believe in?

M: Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime. But at least after death you're not nauseous.

 

Song God by John Lennnon

God is the concept

By which we measure our pain

I'm saying it again:

                    God is the concept

By which we measure our pain

 

I don't believe in magic

I don't believe in i-ching

I don't believe in Bible

I don't believe in tarot

I don't believe in Hitler

I don't believe in Jesus

I don't believe in Kennedy

I don't believe in Buddha

I don't believe in Matra

I don't believe in Gitta

I don't believe in yoga

I don't believe in kings

I don't believe in Elvis

I don't believe in Zimmerman

I don't believe in Beatles

I just believe in me,

Yoko & me

That's reality

Dream is over

What can I say?

The dream is over yesterday

I was the dream weaver

But now I'm alone

I was the walrus

But now I'm John

And in self-defense

I'll just have to carry on

The dream is over

 

Discuss what do you believe in. Prepare in writing, explain orally.

 

 


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